Journey - Hitching

Wed 12 Jul 1995
Kate Janossy

A note from your leader...

How to travel to expo _EASY_ and _free_:-

What you need is

1) 3 days with fuck all to do except go to expo
2) be in the Alps already (although you could get here as quick from England)
3) a thumb
4) less than 100 litres of shit per person (tricky, but your friends can take the expo shit in the nice trailer Wookey found.
_Ex_ friends)

Simply stand by the roadside in no hurry to go anywhere (if you're going to expo, this is easy) with your thumb out, glance at the occasional ''HEDGEHOGS'' in the undergrowth, and get taken to Hilda's (in 21 lifts as Kate 'super keen hitching superstar Jannossy {_How_ many N's - RANT! [inserted here - Ed]} has just counted).
Note that campsite is fulll of normal people.
Note that beer tally only . . .

(pause to turn Floyd tape over)

. . . note that beer tally only goes up to a hundred.
Note that potato hut contains _no_ cavers (must be caving, ho ho!)

And then, and then it happened. A fridge. I couldn't believe it. Was is possible? Cold Gösser in the potato hut? I tentatively opened the door, hoping, praying, and YES! the light came on and I was confronted with row upon row of bottles.

So here I sit, with the 'Shine On' intro in the background, a cold Gösser in front of me to aid my assault on Anthony & Nick's lead in the beer tally, bullshitting merrily into the book before me.

It's expo

Kate's Handy Hitching Hints:

1) In Italy standing on the side of a motorway by a toll in front of an Italian Mamma + her daughter in a nice clean car, it's OK to have a random snog because there's _no way_ they would give you smeggy gits a lift anyway....until they give you a 200km lift!! (with only slight ranting for not speaking Italian - they speak perfect English). :. Italians are romantics really.
Later, when hitching got crap we considered demonstrative shagging on the hard shoulder but suspected this might not work in Austria.

2) Don't wear Steve's utterly foul T shirt (specially in Austria). Continuous stream of lifts after he took it off.
(It seems to be OK when I wear it though)

3) Look at the map before refusing lifts to towns you think are the wrong way (whoops)

4) If you really hate long squidgy slimey things don't go hitching with Steve. (I am referring to the side of an Italian Motorway infested with millions of nasty orange huge slimey slugs. I refused to sleep on the grass + bivvied on a nice comfortable (honest) not at all slopey bit of road - like concrete in front of a padlocked gate, in fear of being run over in the middle of the night). I hate slugs.

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