Cave 2004-11 - 204 - In Your Face + 204 scrotting
Somehow I had ended up in 2004-11 again. Martin completed the traverse in record time and declared, "It's huge stomping passage, looks good". This was unfortunate, since we had ventured out that morning without instruments. And so it was that I chastised Martin, "You weren't supposed to find more passage Martin". This was the cave's undoing. 20 Martin-paces down a large passage it suddenly grinds to a halt. A survey (grade?) was scribbled on top of a laminated 2001 204 survey, using 20 Martin-paces of passage and 5 plumbed Martin-paces of vertical displacement above the previous day's passage. A mildly perilous 8m ascent into the passage roof yielded no further leads, so we left the cave. And promptly ran away to 204, to avoid telling Becka the good (?) news. A sporting descent through the snow in 204d brought us to Swings, where Martin bolted a hang into Earl's supposed connection to Helter Skelter. Stuart then bolted the pitch he had found previously in Swings. It drops to the level of Swings main passage, and does bugger all else. There is a small tight tube back to Swings at the base (SRT kit removal required) and it looks like there may also be an aven leading up elsewhere. No survey made. We proceeded to Insignificant Chamber, where Stuart went down a hole, believed to be the connection to Rhino Rift, wherein he found survey station "T2", an old sling and greased maillon, and a difficult climb down. This satisfied Martin, and the only other noteworthy event was the Bastard Tackle Sack from Hell. This thing is inherently evil. Its malevolence knows no bounds. Small children hide under the bed from it. It eats small puppies. Several chapters of the Bible know it by the name Satan. It feeds off the terror, pain and anguish it creates. As an instrument of torture it is unparallelled. Within the Universe there is no darker force. To the unknowing observer it is a regular tackle bag, from which the shoulder straps have snapped at one end, and subsequently they have been tied to form a second donkey's dick. These two properties combine to form a dread object which is a blight to all caver-kind, getting stuck on EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING, and thus causing its cursed bearer to fall flat on its nose every three paces. The horror inflicted by this item in Germknödel's Revenge mere words cannot describe. Let's just say that being moored by cave and tackle bag, and trying to turn round in the passage at the same time, is SHIT.